Wednesday, October 22, 2014

The Heart Gone Cold - His


There were those days when I adored you. You were my world, the one I thought of in the first day light and the one I dozed off with the beautiful memories and weaved wonderful dreams for the future. Yet, most days have disheartened you. Mean of me enough to ignore and treat you like you do not exist. I got tired of what I was doing. I was only available if I wanted to and showered you sweet talks; sugar coating the lies behind the communication dip, whenever I felt I needed to talk to you or feeling so into you, again. But, I cannot be still with such roller coaster ride of emotions anymore. I needed to step back. 

You loved me.

You needed me not to explain everything but surely you dread to know though you were hurting. You endured my inconsistency and gave in to my whims. You were that patient I never knew still lives. You were always there, waiting. You trusted me, believed in me, bought my tell tales, laughed with my silliness and adored my quirks. You were fond of me. You were fascinated by me. You were in love. You were in love with a selfish woman, Me.

You caused me pain.

The decision I have came up with had taken you aback. Reality might have washed over you and saw things clearly. You somehow managed to handle it well and got me just right. I thought. You succumb to whatever I wanted despite the terseness of the situation laid on your part. I was at peace and you were too, as I believed so. Never had I saw the angst coming from your end. I was shocked. I could not even to the scenario you brought me regardless of my waking mind. I was appalled at how could you, a gentle and loving lad, be the person whom I struggled to recognize. You shut your world from me.

The fear from falling deeply into the abyss of wicked emotion has caused you pain. The wrath of a broken heart from cowardice has caused me pain.

We loved each other. We caused each other pain. And the fact that the Love we once felt and believed was not able to deluge the pain that shadowed our once entranced hearts, is as disheartening it would ever be.  


  1. Sad...... Hope it still can be fix to both of you.

  2. Thank you for your concern. But, I have already decided not to go back.

  3. perhaps... still be friends? or totally lock him permanently.

  4. Still friends? oh yes and that's not totally locking him out. We don't know what's ahead of us, right? It's just that he's not on the priority list for now, maybe forever, maybe, who knows?