Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The Heart Gone Cold - Hers

There I was again. Just minutes ago, playing a staring game with the computer screen in which, always, I face defeat. 


You clouded my mind. And, paining me while rearranging the webbing thoughts of you, the scenarios and the must be resolution or - must i say? - conclusion to whatever this situation we have right now. They were too many. Too many to get  my consciousness diverted from the reality that I must be seizing.

I loved you. 

I love hard and I love deep. A gift, or should I say, a curse. I get clingy, possessive and paranoid over small things relating to situations with the one I love. I could throw my future away; which I did in my past and one of the hardest lessons I have learned. I could let Love turn my world upside down. I am the most vulnerable human being there is, when I am in love. And, all of these scared me.

I caused you pain.

The fear overwhelmed me. The paranoia have eaten me whole that a day without hearing from you was an excuse for me to be somewhere; hurting both of us. The distance was a torture. I was not used to it. I am still not used to it. And, I do not want to get used to it. You know how I love to get lost in your embrace and cuddle on that secure feeling you unknowingly gave me. I was painstakingly missing them that I kept on diverting my attention to whatever appropriate pleasure before me. Until that day.

I needed space.


  1. love takes time to heal when ur hurting so much..

  2. Yeah.. we are in our most vulnerable state once in love...

    But Bibi Bee you said "I NEEDED space", so it's a thing of the past ^.^
    Too bad, you also used "I LOVED you".... :-/